Entry 03

PANDORA’S BOX AND THE ROAD TO HELL
Oh my G*d, Oh my G*d, Oh my G*d, Oh my G*d, Oh my G*d, oh my frigging G*d!!! I am so going to hell! I am in love with a married man. Aside from the obvious reason [it being that Mr. X is married], Kufre and I are technically not ‘going out’ anymore (I heard that he is ‘now dating’ bambi crossed with Pinocchio that got turned into a real- would you believe it? Girl! Obviously she has a given name but, who cares? Hope they live happily ever after and the ‘blue fairy’ doesn’t turn out to be the big bad wolf) so, me thinking that his uncle and I would make the next Hollywood power couple [something like Jay-z and Beyonce ] is not considered ‘cheating’ right? Buh, it’s not like I spend my free time setting snares for married men and making rounds to check the traps or something like that o! This one happened in a perfectly innocent manner. This one was more like fate. Brief history; when Kufre and I were still o so, madly in love and dating, naturally, I went with him for his cousins baby’s first birthday bash and decided to help with organization and stuffs. There were so many gbo-gbo ‘bigs’ boys and girls that I had to remind myself on countless occasions that this was a baby’s birthday and not some 9ja’s celebrity album lunch [I doubt even those events were as star studded as the bash]. While serving food and drinks, I remember giving my cell number to a couple of people; some liked the way I handled things while others loved my outfit in general, they were hoping I was for hire buh, and blah-blah. I gave my number to a particular ‘Tom’ that I didn’t fancy at all what can I say, he wore good shoes, I guess I can’t have them all. I forgot about most of the events of the party until a few weeks afterward when I got a call from ‘Tom’ although I was so not interested, I humored him and responded politely to the regular ‘how are you’, ‘how are your studies’ and ‘how are your parents’ question. It was last week when I received notification via the world wide gossip machine Ibiela [gosh that girl is good] that my boyfriend Kufre was presently dating Bambi that I got the call that opened hells gate. It was from ‘Tom’ he was like he was in town, he was around for a meeting the following day and could I please join him for a drink? Sad as I was that my boyfriend preferred 4 legs over two, I agreed to see him but, carried enough money on me because I wasn’t sure that ‘Tom’ with the good shoes could afford to transport me or buy me dinner. On getting to the hotel, I called him to come out and pick me (there was no way I’da gone in to meet him, I’m no h*oker!) a dude I recalled slightly but couldn’t place a finger on where I met him came out of the hotel and was looking around like he was expecting someone. I ignored him and continued to dial ‘Tom’s’ number. It was when ‘Tom’ answered at the same time that the dude did that my heart did a cart-wheel and jumped into my mouth. The dude out there wasn’t Tom with the good shoes! That man was none other than Engineer Thomas Momoh CEO of AGFA constructions, Kufre’s uncle, his mother’s sister’s husband to be precise! I thought of hiding under the dash board until he went back into the hotel then tell the driver to take me back to school but, I changed my mind. What the heck! He was the one that invited me in the first place. I moved out of the car. The dress I wore suddenly felt too skimpy. Luckily, I brought along a jacket (cab drivers tend to leave their A/C’s on super-freeze-a-human-to-stiff-turkey cold. Why? I wonder) I pulled on the jacket and walked up to him. Dressed in safari shorts, a loose tee with a rubber but obviously expensive sports wrist watch on his left wrist, he was the personification of sin. I said to myself “down Tabby, Tabby be good” before proceeding to speak. Luckily, my voice didn’t come out like the squeak I feared it would when I spoke to him. Tom [now corrected to Thomas] led me to the bar of the hotel. Like he had requested, we had a couple of drinks and talked about things other than the weather but, he kept on commenting on how fun I was to be with and asking when I’d be through with the semester. Buh, if not for the well worn gold ring winking at me from his ring finger, I would have said to him scr*w school mister, take me to where you please! Luckily, there was the ring. On my way home, I considered the advantages of Christianity over polygamy and wondered if when I had the intention if being his wife number two it would still be a sin to pine for him. Maybe, if I poisoned his wife with cyanide or mercury, he’d turn to me for comfort. (G*d help me! See the kinds of thoughts I am having!!) When I was back in my room, I thought of Kufre and Bambi if I were to go to hell, they’d definitely be in the same cabin as me because my meeting Thomas was all their fault! Oh and before I forget, Thomas gave me enough money to cover my cab fair, have dinner for a week and some more for a round trip flight ticket in case I decided to join him for another round of drinks in…. guess where? ABUJA!!

- TABBY