Entry 22

IF I WERE A BOY

I discovered that whenever me and my neighbor Ifeoma do ‘that thing’, I get so hungry, it’s like the more I drag, the emptier my stomach becomes, buh, there has to be a way for us to channel it into a weight loss program.
We have decided to try it out for a week and see if there is any change [Ifeoma is the one who needs to lose weight, me? my special one likes me just the way I am and so do I!].
Gosh, Ifeoma is so cool, I like her personality, character and style. She sees what she wants and goes for it. She doesn’t let anyone or anything stand in her way, not even the weather!!
I ran into Brian, [Von’s boyfriend whom I consider the catch of the century] he looked so distraught. He said that Von had given him an ultimatum: all her friends have one (a BB phone) therefore, she wants one too. Either their boyfriends or their ‘Aristo’ brought theirs for them. Now, she was the only one left out and was not okay with not belonging.
She said that it was either he didn’t love her enough or he was seeing someone else.
My heart went out to him on one hand because, he really loves the girl and has been known to go to crazy lengths to make her happy [imagine unmarried university undergraduates wearing matching outfits to church and parties? It has to be the cutest thing since dogs in purses] but on the other hand, I called him an idiot! Did he not know what he was getting into when he asked an ‘It’ girl out? Now would not be a very good time to remind her that he was a dependent; just an ordinary university student surviving on the cast-offs from his parents.
I laughed at the thought of Von telling her next boyfriend [should they decide to break up] that she left him because although he was faithful, loving and honest, he couldn’t get her a ‘BB’.
Mother is upset because I prefer now to hang with Ifeoma than even pick her calls. Buh, it not my fault though.
Mother is driving me insane! She is too needy for my liking abeg. Tabby, where are you? Tabby your classmates say you do not attend lectures, Tabby why are people saying you owe them money? Tabby why wouldn’t you come home? Tabby, Tabby, Tabby arrgh!!
She should get herself a hobby or something.
At the moment, it’s just my special one that I am concerned about. He doesn’t understand what me and Ifeoma are trying to accomplish, it is not like we are smoking for the highness or something like that [she quit for crying out loud!!] we are just testing out a theory.
He has turned me into a petty liar now because I’d rather lie to him than see a frown on his adorable face.
One more week and I am through with all things to do with inhalation and I mean it!


- Tabby