Entry 06

VOODOO DOLLS

My eyes must have been swollen and blood shot because I didn't notice when he came to seat beside me.
Even the sight of a dozen random guys ‘taking a leak’ outside on assorted spots for ‘target practice’ on my way to the library didn’t make me question them about their fascination with the ‘great out doors’ I mean, toilets were made for something!! I have been this way for about two-three weeks now.

All because of Max!

In Lagos, we promised to keep in touch and I told him ‘shun the consequences’ I’d come see him on more occasions than not buh, we were both caught up in the same fairy tale; I guess he woke up too soon.
For the first days, Max was the one to call me. He’d call me at dawn, before he went to bed and just because. Then later he’s calls became scarce; said he was busy, he said he came home tired. He said it was only people who were insecure that needed to be given a ‘reality pinch’ every time. Buh, I didn’t complain, I called him. I loved the sound of his voice, it reminded me of crisply baked chicken dipped in sauce; finger-licking delicious! but by the middle of week 2, I realized Max didn’t want me anymore.
To make matters worse, [I don’t know how she knew but I have learned the hard way never to doubt her] ‘Worldwide gossip machine’ Ibiela told me about one Nollywood celebrity’s latest boyfriend and would you believe it?
Out of the over billion population in Nigeria, Max happened to be the one! I called him and questioned him about it but, he neither denied nor confirmed the piece. He told me ‘Tabby cat, you are one special girl and there would never be one to replace you.’ now what type of statement is that?

I stopped calling him, I tried not to think of him but by G*d it hurts, it hurts so dam much. Even Nneka hasn’t said a word to me, I told no one about what happened in Lagos so, they don’t know what to make of my recent behavior. Mother was a bit concerned but Dr. Dash told her it is a normal pre-adult behavior (after asking me about my ‘pregnancy status’ and receiving a negative response) still, it didn’t stop me from crying when I thought I was alone.
Max? I hate him so much, I never want to see him again in my life.

I love him!


When he asked me about the dude on a piece of paper that I had been jotting on, I had to laugh. I had drawn several stick figures of Max with about a dozen daggers and knives stabbing almost every were 'vital organs' should have been. I wiped the tears away from my eyes and told him it was our dog; we just sold him to the butcher and I was having second thoughts. He shook his head and said he didn’t ever want to be the dog. He said the library was stuffy and asked if we could go for a walk. I shrugged and got up (walking was better than drawing stick figures of Max, killing them and crying). Most importantly ‘he’ was Stanley.

- TABBY