Entry 40

UNCONCERNED

Tabitha Swahita Tahilita, Tabitha Tahilita Swahita, TTS? Nope. TTS is so not me! Sounds like a ‘T- something – T – something ‘syndrome some toxic disease or worse. Tabby is perfect!
I wonder if this entry would smell different or end with a ‘plop’ because of my location. Call me gross, nasty or dirty but I am eighty nine point one percent certain that I wouldn’t be the first to ‘drop’ from this perspective. At one point or the other, certain people have made life changing decisions while in the toilet so blah!

I wasn’t jobless yesterday, I was erm, I was – I was inspired!
I stood in front of the main auditorium and realized that from there, the living quarters for students could be sectioned into four quadrants. The north behind me, the east, the west and “down south”! While considering how far down south could stretch to and if the hostels built by different banks should be added to the south mandate Kufre miraculously appeared in my line of vision!
Not being in the mood to paste a smile on my face and say nice things to him I looked the other way and held my breath praying he would walk away if I didn’t make any sudden move (this trick worked in the past when I bumped into two wicked looking dogs who approached me like they had just concluded the grace before meal) I’d like to say that next I slipped, fell into a hole, hit my head on a broken vodka bottle and passed out only to wake up a few hours later in his arms well taken care of, without a single tell tale scratch and wearing a pretty pink frock but am not that accident prone and pink is not really my color. What really happened was he turned and caught my eyes. For a while we stood holding each others gaze, waiting for who would make the first move. Getting tired of the staring contest, I blinked and made to walk away only to be halted by him calling out my name and taking giant strides towards my direction.
He came to a stop ‘in my face’ wearing this irritatingly cheerful smile that made me want to puke (or clean his teeth with a mechanic’s greasy rag) he apologized for making me wait and for starring at me without speaking saying I looked different. Next he begged me to go with him to the Plaza. I think at that point he read my mind and knew I was going to say no because in the next breath, he swore he would not take no for an answer. We were still standing in front of the auditorium and passersby were nodding approvingly in our direction as if to say “what a cute couple”. I made faces at a few of them, shrugged and said okay.

I hadn’t been to the Plaza in a while so I was a bit surprised to note that during “school hours” the place was bustling with activity (some people really should get a life buh)!
When Kufre didn’t complain when I took my time in ordering my drink (this was new), I asked him about “Bambi” the half Pinocchio girl he left me for. After telling me it was not nice to call people names and asking how I’d feel if I was referred to as Jumbo or Ariel the marine spirit the answer he gave was quite vague something like “words are from alphabets” or so and then turned the conversation around. The idiot that said men love to talk about themselves should be given a solid knock on the center of his or her head! Since I can remember, I have been blessed with males who have turtle butts for mouth; once in, it is difficult to get out and if you attempt to take it by force, you are strictly on your own.
Still at the plaza, I asked for two more straws inserted them into the bottle, sucked my drink noisily and watched the people around me. I saw the girl Ibiela swore was dating her lecturer! She stood at the entrance to the plaza (she was either making or receiving a call). When she was through, she walked into the bar opposite me and was in for a while, coming out finally with a huge plastic bag (maybe it was filled with loads of food; goat pepper soup, peppered chicken, whole goat head? There was an irregular bulge to one side; I wondered what it was hmm a bottle of groundnut as well? It could be that her and the said lecturer were disappearing for the weekend and needed food for the road). I bent my neck continuously like a turkey to see where she went as she walked away from the Plaza; if there was a car waiting for her or if it was the man in question. Kufre was being a spoil sport and refused to share in my speculation. I was enjoying myself but remembered every now and then not to let down my guard. I and Kufre had gone down this road before and to my knowledge Walt Disney was still making cartoons so, there were other Disney characters for him to leave me for. He seemed different though, or maybe it was the new haircut. Whatever it was, I was willing to explore. Besides, Christmas is just next month and it would be nice to get a present from someone at least so why not him!
When I got to my room, Nneka was waiting by my door. The first question she asked was what I was doing with Kufre. I didn’t bother to ask how she knew I was with him (I swear that girl is not of this world). First she gave me a hug, let go then held unto my wrist looked solemnly into my eyes (scaring the sh*t out of me) before saying she cared deeply about me and only wanted what was best for me. She promised me that Kufre was bad news and was only going to hurt me. I eased my hand from her grip and told her thanks for the love but as for me and Kufre we’d just have to see.
Come to think of it, why didn’t I notice then that her talons sorry fingers look like they were painted blood red? Maybe it wasn’t paint, maybe it was blood! She might have gotten a premonition while she separated a suicidal rat from its entrails (that would account for her blood red nails). Wish I had told Kufre that I didn’t think Jumbo was a bad name and Ariel too! She was a princess after all buh, not marine spirit!
Okay, this is awkward. The sink is wet as well as the top of the toilet tank. There is no way am going to drop my note book on either of the surfaces letting it get wet in the process. What’s it with water everywhere?!
Ha! Nice, the tissue on the roll is only enough for one thing.
What to do? What to do? Buh, am Tabby, I’d figure something out.
Oops!
- Tabby

Entry 46

UNPRECEDENTED

*dancing* my birthday is coming, my birthday is coming!
Buh, I love to make me believe I am a love child sometimes. I mean, its not easy to be born in the month of February.

February is a very special month because for one, its the only month that can decide the number of days it'd have. Two its the month for lovers and three? ITS THE MONTH I WAS BORN! Ideally if I had been born September, October or November, I'da been sure my parents did the \umbalumba/ in the month of February (on St. Valentine's Day maybe?) But, since I WAS BORN February, I might have been conceived on any regular day when my daddy decided to play hooky and call in sick from work and blah-blah-blah.

I wish my daddy were still alive, it's been almost 10 years since he's been gone but it doesn't make me miss him any less.
Sean is a great person, a great dad even but, he is not my daddy.
I get so scared when sometimes, I can't remember certain stuffs about my daddy, like the way his eyes would light up when he laughs at a funny story, how he's eyes would twinkle by candle light in the darkness when we sat making shadow people while 'watching and waiting' for NEPA to return power. I am afraid that soon, my daddy would become another face in my picture album.

Birthdays are depressing.

On the bright side, I got a call. *wink*

Out of the blue, one Engineer Tom proposed a birthday fiesta for me.
I wouldn't bother too much on how he knew my birthday or what 'birthday fiesta' entails. My only pause is the unanswered question: does this dude understand the meaning of being married? As in the for-better-for-worse-and-eyes-only-for-you kindda thing? Maybe if am feeling generous, I'd spare a lesson in "love and mutual respect" for him. That aside, let the games begin! February 4th can't come soon enough.

Right after February 14th, lovers day. Although not my birthday (thank G*d) it still pulls quite a measure of weight.
Right after Christmas and Easter, comes the next best day for massive sales and market movement.
From rushing to boutiques to purchase killer dresses with 'a touch of red', to planning the perfect day and finally doing last minute shopping for 'thoughtful' gifts for 'that special one' *batting eyelashes* (yeah right)
Buh, people become so caught up with the business aspect of the day that they lose focus of what St. Valentine Day really is about. Buh, talk a walk to any popular shopping complex say two days to the Saints feast. Believe me, your center of gravity would tilt just a teeny bit. There'd be so much cute little red hearts, Cupid's hanging from strings and glossy red balloons that you'd be sure to "see red". Granted am not forming Saint Tabitha (buh the lady prophet from the bible is enough 'holy Tabitha' to last for a while) and denouncing all little velvet boxes and candy treats geared towards getting me all "musshied" up in knots buh, getting musshied up is good! (He had better send me loads of red boxes or else...)

My point is that, it is Valentines Day after all!
A time for love and affection, right?
So, rather than worry if I'm going to get "any" or not, I should concern myself with positive means of sharing and giving.
One funny fact about the day is that the feast contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient roman tradition!

The feast begun in a bid to Christianize the pagan 'Lupercalia' festival (-some sort of fertility gig that the ancient Romans had going, it involved a couple of dead dogs and goats, I wouldn't want to linger too much on "that" topic) so, the big guns gathered in the place of meeting and were like: since the birds were already having a fun swing at the month of February as the month of coupling (picking mates and pairing up) why not the humans too? Hence a day was born!

The Catholic Church recognizes 3 saints named Valentine (all of who were martyred) one a priest at Rome, one a bishop and the last lived and died in Africa (yippee).

At this point, I'd like to confess that I am quite confused. When I begun this entry, I had it in mind to preach fire and brimstone on all who took advantage of the Feb. 14th propaganda but that was when I was seated all by myself in the reading hall. I looked up to discover this 'fruit of the earth slash brown sugar' he's looking quite edible seated all by himself with his head bent into a book. I tried to ignore him but with the way my pulse has been ticking and all the blood pumping in my ears, to do so any longer would prove disastrous (to my health that is). So it being the month of love after all, I'm going to close this educational books of mine and shimmy down the hall.
Exams starts like tomorrow but who cares right?!

- Tabby